a wave of change

How do we know when our adventure is over? Or is it just beginning.

I really hate the shit when people try to sound a whole lot deeper than they are, however I am having one of those moments where I feel that the reflection is the only way I will see the truth in what was to be discovered.

Everything that we do has a cosmic reaction and with that will follow the reaction of self and energy. Truth. But with the actions that lead up to the reaction, are they the ones that we should listen to or is it the reaction that is important. At the end of a road there is never really a dead end, there is always a path it is how you find the next path to take that is important.

Is that what is happening to me have I only focused on the reaction of all my energy that I have ignored the life lessons that where to lead me where I was going. What if the path was the wrong one the one that should not have been taken and had altered the reality fate had set forth for me, what if the yellow brick road leads to the dog pound not the emerald city and the man behind the curtain was not really a man but a guard to a gas chamber.

I have learned to put a lot of trust in fate over the past few months and disregarded what I would normally use to guide my life.

Chalked it up to life experience and the quest to better my self. How is that it.

Where did that little voice in my head that was saying no don’t do that go. You really have to think why did I choose this path. Where was it to take me and why was I here? There are always the reasons that everyone had brought to my attention, a quest to run away from something, not feeling satisfied with what I had and yes they are true now that I look at it but I also have to think about the other things as well what have a learned and is it really giving up?

I recently hit a big turning point in my life; well I thought it was going to be but it was really a day just like any other. Nothing profound happened it was a day just like any other. Did I think that the world was going to stop and start spinning back ward? Was the end near how close was the asteroid?

Were does the vial lie that divides us between personal integrity and the quest for gratification. Are we the only ones who can truly judge that in our selves is there a point were you just have to yell out “bitch… slow your roll” That saying where you know it is to good to be true in everything but love it is true.

Where do we know when that is to be found? The expectations of a man might be to high for the world to live up to. Should I lower my standards to meet the one or is the a one I have worked with an grown with. Is there a way to understand the past so that the future can be constructed by understanding what was right rather than what was wrong. I hold on to the past for knowledge but what I really want to do is grasp the understand and forget the pain is that possible?

a true test of me

the great an powerful oprah once did this experiment, where she took two families and removed there cell phone, there internet, there tv and asked them to live like this for one week. i thought to my self, well hell i can do that no problem right well i was so wrong. the sad part is that I have some of those things, the internet, a cell phone, and satellite tv and i am going crazy and I have to ask myself why am i freaking out…

i have figured it out;

when you have something you expect to have it, all the time. well things are a little different here, the internet (and I am using an ethernet cord) is very spotty it comes and goes as it pleases, it works for five min then it is off for ten.

10:46 am it is working

10:47 am it is not

maybe it is the heat it is melting the cord that connect us with the out side world

maybe it is the government restricting my use of the internet

all things that have passed through my mind but in the end i am here to do a job and the best place to accomplish all the background research is via the internet and when it is not working how can i be productive?

10:50 it works again
11:18 still working

11:42 down again

12:10 and it looks like it is going to go down again

2:23 so far so good

all cell phones are prepaid so that takes a little getting used to but not so bad.

last the tv well the fun part is they are about two years behind in the American programming so I am able to catch up on shows that I have not see or wanted to watch but never could, however the bad part it is satellite and it comes in and out the wind blows and the picture goes so I am watching a movie and I am totally into it an boom it is gone or five min and then wha-la it is back.

doing internet research when it was working I found a list of top tens posted by the school i am working with it was just generic listing posted on there web site about stuff in kuwait and other things expats should know. some great stuff on there mesuems and malls and spas so a great resource.

there is this section on things to bring when you come to kuwait and one of them is patients, and not just one it was the first one. for those who do not know me I have very little patients and when I want something I want it now I don’t want to wait till you feel ready or it fits into your schedule. I know how bitchy does that sound but it has served me well thus far. in my defense I have slowed down and tried to prioritize what I need when I need it and so far that has not worked at all. Case in point i ordered generic office supplies just to basics to do business you know copy paper, pens, and so on. it is 4 days now since I have given the list and I have not received anything. So I keep on keepen on right well yes but now I am also stuck in more limbo waiting to see which direction I am going to be going as far as my business plan goes and I have been here for three days and so far all I keep hearing is tomorrow, tomorrow (I’ll love ya tomorrow) right. So in true me fashion I have taken the bull by the horns and am creating my own since of urgency thing to light some sort of fire under some ones ass. we shall see if that works.

So everything in life teaches you lessons right, well here is mine:

1. things are only as important as you can convince someone else they are
2. patients is truly a virtue that i do not possess so i will act like i have them
3. to be excessively persuasive it helps to know the language.

i will follow up on the more to bring section later, i know you all will be waiting in anticipation.

capitalism is alive and well

coming from a land where jobs are being lost, people are loosing there homes and the government keeps processing bailout after bailout, i have moved to the land where capitolism is alive and thriving. 

there is an air here of luxe and refinement that is carried in such a way, as to not come across with any sence of airogance, but an understanding of the essence of life. 

the shear attention to detail is absoutly astounding. the triditioal dress here

 for a man is called a toub and by shere frist g

lance it is an ankle legenth white button down shirt.  however upon further examination they are as varied as the days the days of the month. ok so where and i going with this lets see i think it is me trying to say that design in classic mans fashion is not as dead as i thought it was. i went through a period where to me there was no creativity left in mens fashions especially the classic mens dress shirt yeah you can change the collar or cuff but where do you go from there. now the answer for me now

 is everywhere there are possibilities everywhere from the cut of the yoke to the placement of flanges or tucks in the back to create just the right drape and fit.  

there is also th

e sheer curiosity i have found in the dress sandal it is a shoe that is even except-able  to wear even in the office. i had a run in with a hybrid dress shoe-sandal a few years ago and i was turned off to the idea that anything more than a flip-flop was ever except-able and here i have even see the male dress clog and we all know that is such a no-no if there ever was one. so i will learn to stay away. 

back to the idea of commerce. the mall here is what it once was in the us a place where people and friends gather and families spend quality time with the nanny. they even have giant inflatable chicken slides. who would not love that. 

kuwait till tomorrow

well tomorrow is the day I am off to kuwait, qatar has been wonderful and it is a great country from what i have seen of it. i have been in the doha area and it is some kind of fun, and i think for lack of anything better  i am going to work backwards in the chain of events.  so we are just going to start with last night. 

well last night was something let me tell you for a country you don't hear much about in the us they sure as hell know how to get down.  I went to go see bob sinclaire las night a famous dj he ws spinning on the ones and twos, it was all sorts of fun i have not danced to music like that since I was in college and for real for real it was a rave (if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck well). thinks about it this way it was 106 out side at night i was on the beach and everyone was hot and sweaty dancing around to house music, so all sort of fun was had. they do allow drinking in this country so yes i had a few and it was very odd the see them counting shots you could tell these people where not used to pouring drinks. however the people where all having fun you had the two extremes in people the really hot and the really not but all tried to be a fashionable as possible and who wouldn't here  when it just seems like lux is everywhere. everybody was getting so into it sweating and dancing around it was great. it also gave me the chance to hang out with my bosses and co workers in a non-sylvan setting which was really nice. all of them are some good peoples.

the night before that i had a chance to go to the souk, which is the "market" it was amazing i had a great dinner and got to sit outside and enjoy all the wonders of people watching . it is amazing to me the attention to detail that is paid here to absolutely everything( there will be another entry about the thoug an amazingly simple and yet complex garment).    

the odd thing was it felt so surreal being there it was almost  like being in disney land, or walking down the path through the arabian experience at epcot center. the smells from the spice stores where exactly what i expected warm, exotic, strong and completely welcoming, just walking by the stores brought a smile to my face like no other. 

they we found the textile stores and there where some of the most amazing color combinations and embellishments, i can not wait till i m in kuwait and can shop for fabric and start creating again.

above is the islamic culture center and below is the qatar skyline at night "so amazing" where my words

landed

well here it goes i am here and i did not even have a chance to record all that happened on the flight. i am going to do my best to recall some of the highlights and really, by highlights i mean some of the travesties that i witnessed. the reality of the situation is that the flight was not really that bad. yes i was in coach for 12 hours, yes there where tones of crying babies, but it only gets better from there. 

well lets start off with the 5 star experience of Qatar Air it was great the people where very friendly and attentive, and any thing that was needed was supplied including blankets and pillows, and travel kits (btw they even had socks in the travel kits). You have your own TV with on-demand movies and TV news and travel so cool right. Also there is a screen on the front each section and it's only purpose is to keep you up to date on where you are in the flight. it can be a great when you have about an hour left out of 12 and you are counting down the seconds, however when you just take off it kind of sucks. 

no then lets get into the people who are on the flight I mentioned the crying children. now audrey i totally agree there needs to be a traveling with kids section on big plains.  and as if that was no the icing on the cake we hit some turbulence and the kids started getting sick and lucky me I was sitting right next to the bathroom where all of todays events had taken place. finally they decide to close that bathroom down understandable but then the line started forming out side the and well that just plane got annoying. 

However the most winning of winning moments was when a young woman no more then 20 years of age thought the emergency exit was the bathroom and tried to open the door and yes this was at 30000 feet. luckily she was stopped and nothing more developed excepted she made it in to the bathroom ok. 

needless to say that the whole flight was basically a loop of  of the same events over and over again and again. got to love it. 

well that is all i am here and safe and sound now just trying to figure out what to have for dinner.  

family fun night

as i spend all day getting ready, running around and gathering all items needed for my fun new adventure.  i come home to a wonderful bell family tradition "wine time" it is a great time for gathering on the porch and enjoying the company of the family . well as luck would have it being my last night it was quite a special occasion. 

as my mom fell two glasses into the night and my sister cracked opened a bottle of obscenely sweet riesling i new i was in for a treat. we always get into addressing the events of the day however tonight we decided it was going to be family fun night and in the case of our family that normally involves a board game and tonight it is numble. 

for those who unfamiliar with the game is is number scrabble where all numbers must ad up to a number divisible by three. around here we have an odd since of fun but it works. at this point my sister and my father are lit and my mother could swear the room was swimming.  luckily i was the sober one this evening and i can record what all was going on.

we decided to order pizza and the drinking continued my sister was in a strong lead from the get go and I was close behind. my mother who has fallen asleep at the table with her head in her hand and my father was announcing to the world how this was so not the game he wanted to play. my sister was now excessively announcing and challenging every score it was time to finish out the game. i laid down my last four tiles and that was it i had won the game. both the rents proclaimed there joy and i have to relish in the joy that this was my family and I really would not change it for anything. 

through all the nerves and emotions that i am going through leaving my friends, family, and all the students in the dallas area that i had left behind i had to know that this new adventure is where it is at. i am ready it is my time to see the world and take on what is to come. bring it on world i am ready.

it all started because

ok so some might ask what the hell am i doing moving to kuwait., and the funny thing is at 12:30 on a friday sitting in what used to be my bedroom at my parents house i have to wonder the same thing.  i mean really what is the reason ?

i have always known that i have a bigger purpose in this world and i need to start to figure out what that is. 

as i prepare to leave i need to keep in mind a few things.

1 i am so not a writer so i need to use this space as a place for me to catalog and share my experiences.

2 everything i am going to be stepping into is going to be a new experience and i am going to welcome it all in with open arms  

3 this is going to be a time where inspiration can be found and i am going to find it

4 this opportunity come once in a life time and you need to make the most of it

5 start you own adventure book and never leave the "stuff i am going to do" part blank all the stuff you do is important

6 always be creating it is what you do it is who you are it is more critical to you than air

i want to thank everyone that has been so supportive of me heading out and sharing this experience with me.

i will use this space often and keep it full of wit and insight that you all know only i can produce. 

please enjoy